Joke> Have you ever seen one of these Hall mark cards?

kitty asked: The Dysfunctional Section of a Hallmark Store..
1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you’ve come into my life…
(Inside card) – I’ve changed my mind.
2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life..
(Inside card) – I never believed in Hell until I [...]