Can you come up with something funny or clever for a Hallmark Card?
Here’s a few examples:
THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON’T SAY
My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire…
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
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Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don’t fret about it…
She moved in with me.
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Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.
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I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.
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Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?
Be creative!
MattBreedenNow






November 2nd, 2009 - 1:42 am
Augusta Golf Tickets
When you get married and live in a tree
Send me a coconut C.O.D.
November 5th, 2009 - 11:29 am
Obama Polls
when at this card you look
and at this card you frown
think of the one who spoilt your card
by writing upside down
November 6th, 2009 - 6:18 am
MattBreedenNow
With deepest sympathy
On your 40th birthday
sorry to hear your father died
(but theres one less to buy for at christmas!)
congrats on your 5th wedding anniversary!
we all gave you guys 6 months tops
well done on passing your driving test
touch my car and youll never have children
happy 80th birthday grandma
now die and give me that bungalow
November 6th, 2009 - 8:06 am
Golf Chipping Net
Congradulations, Your getting a wonder man,
He didnt even touch any of the strippers at the party,
Only the Men!
November 8th, 2009 - 1:02 am
Augusta Golf Packages
3 reasons why i misseed your wedding
1.i had a lumpy tire until i saw a racoon
2.i don’t believe in marriage even though i’m married
3.i’m busy in the bathroom
4.i forgot…i hate your husband.
November 9th, 2009 - 11:53 pm
Obama News
i was going to give you a large sum of money for your b.day,
unfortunitely the guard at the mall fountain stopped me
November 11th, 2009 - 2:38 am
Golf Chipping Net
You reached puberty
you’re finally there
I won’t tell anyone
You had to stand on a chair
November 11th, 2009 - 6:03 am
hallmark cards
Happy birthday to you,
I got you some money and shoes,
Because when you are happy,
That fills me with glee.